Stay or Go
Older adults wrestle with when it’s time to change their living situation.
Perhaps we’ve stayed too long. The thought has occurred to Howard and Marlene Bauer more than once over the past several years.
Both within a year or two of their 80th birthdays, the Bauers (last name changed to protect privacy) still live in their family home in upper Bucks County. It’s been their home for more than 40 years, and they still love it—most of the time. The property is larger than they need, and more than they can adequately care for. It’s also surrounded by trees, which tend to drop branches when the winds pick up.
Winters can be especially difficult, as proven by a recent stretch of snow and below-freezing temperatures. They have not been able to get out of the house as often as they like and, in some ways, have relied on the kindness of their neighbors. Their adult children visit weekly to check in and fix anything important that needs mending.
“Maybe we’ve outstayed our welcome here,” Marlene says. “For a while we considered moving to someplace warm, but that was a flirtation more than an actual idea. We both have some health issues, and moving that far is a big deal.”
A November 2025 story published by The Cincinnati Enquirer underscores the issue they face. Reporters from The Enquirer spent several months interviewing older people in the area to see how they live. They found that some still live in single-family homes despite financial setbacks, while others moved into senior housing earlier than planned due to unforeseen health problems. The commonality among them all: the feeling that they are stuck in their housing situation. The story also cited U.S. Census data showing that 29 percent of Cincinnati homeowners and 60 percent of renters above age 65 are cost-burdened, meaning they pay too much for their housing compared to their income.
In the Philadelphia area, circumstances aren’t much better. Consider the quote used in the headline for a December 2025 WHYY story about the housing market: “Everyone is kind of stuck” due to elevated home prices and mortgage rates. As real estate developers build more luxury homes, conditions may improve in the year ahead—at least for those with certain means, as middle- to lower-income households still have fewer choices.
The calculus hasn’t changed much for older couples like the Bauers. They see two options: either move into a retirement community; or stay where they are and “roll with the punches,” as Marlene puts it. Marlene has an idea about what the future holds.
“This is our home,” she says. “Maybe we should have moved 10 or 20 years ago to someplace more manageable, but if we did that we would have missed out on so much. At this point, I don’t see us going anywhere unless the decision is made for us.
“We thought about a retirement community, and we still think about it from time to time,” she continues. “Some of our closest friends moved into a community and loved it. [The husband] is gone now, but [the wife] is still there and she seems happy. Having said that, I don’t know if it’s for us. I would miss the trees too much.”
Published (and copyrighted) in Suburban Life, December 2025.
